The Mental Diet For Autism Parents
The One Thing You Control That Changes Everything
By Stuart McGhie, Autism Father & Founder of Connecting Hearts
Let’s recap our journey so far.
First, we embraced the Mirror Principle: the understanding that our external world, especially our relationship with our child, is a direct reflection of our internal state of consciousness.
Second, we learned about the Power of Assumptions: the realisation that our assumptions are the creative seeds of our reality.
By consciously choosing and feeling new, empowering assumptions, we begin to create a new reflection in the mirror.
This is powerful. This is life-changing. But it also brings up a challenge.
It’s one thing to feel a new reality for a few minutes during a meditation.
It’s another thing entirely to maintain that feeling when you’re in the thick of daily life—when your child is having a meltdown, when you’re feeling exhausted, when the old story of disconnection feels so overwhelmingly real.
How do you protect the new seeds you’ve planted?
How do you stop the old weeds from growing back and choking out your beautiful new garden?
This is where we introduce the third foundational pillar of the Connecting Hearts method: The Mental Diet.
What is a Mental Diet?
Just like a physical diet determines the health and shape of your body, a mental diet determines the health and shape of your life.
It’s the conscious practice of monitoring and curating the thoughts and feelings you allow to occupy your mind.
The great spiritual teacher Emmet Fox, who coined the term, said that a mental diet is the most important thing you can do for your spiritual growth.
It’s about refusing to entertain negativity, whether it comes from your own mind, from other people, or from the world at large.
For a parent of a nonverbal autistic child, a mental diet is not a luxury.
It is an absolute necessity.
It is the active, 24/7 practice of tending to the garden of your mind.
It means that you stand guard at the door of your mind and you decide what gets in.
You stop feeding yourself a diet of fear, worry, and doubt, and you start nourishing yourself with thoughts of love, connection, and possibility.
Your Inner Conversations Are Creating Your Life
Neville Goddard taught that our inner conversations—the silent, internal chatter that runs in our minds all day long—are the true creative force in our lives.
What you are saying to yourself, about yourself, and about your child, is a constant prayer that is always being answered.
Think about it. What is your dominant inner conversation about your child?
Is it a conversation of worry? “I hope he’s okay at school. I hope he doesn’t have a meltdown. I worry he’s not making friends.”
Is it a conversation of frustration? “Why won’t he just listen? Why does everything have to be so hard? I can’t do this anymore.”
Is it a conversation of grief? “I miss the child I thought I would have. I wish we could just have a normal conversation.”
These inner conversations are the food you are feeding your consciousness.
And if you are constantly feeding it worry, frustration, and grief, that is the reality it will continue to serve up for you. The mirror will faithfully reflect it.
How to Start Your Mental Diet Today
A mental diet requires vigilance, discipline, and self-compassion. It’s not about being perfect; it’s about being persistent.
Step 1: Thought Tracking (Without Judgment)
For the next 24 hours, your only job is to observe.
Become a neutral witness to your own mind.
Keep a small notebook or a note on your phone, and simply make a tally mark every time you notice a negative thought or feeling about your child or your situation.
This is not about judging yourself. It’s about gathering data.
You can’t change what you’re not aware of. Most of us are so used to our negative inner chatter that we don’t even notice it’s there.
This exercise will bring it into the light.
Step 2: Starve the Negative, Feed the Positive
Once you’re aware of your negative thought patterns, you can begin to change them. The rule of the mental diet is simple:
Do not entertain a negative thought for a single second.
The moment you catch a negative thought—a worry, a doubt, a fear—you must drop it.
Don’t analyse it.
Don’t argue with it.
Don’t try to figure out where it came from.
Just let it go.
Imagine you’re holding a hot coal. You wouldn’t hold onto it and examine it; you’d drop it immediately. Treat your negative thoughts the same way.
Then, immediately replace it with a thought that aligns with your new, desired reality. Replace the thought of frustration with a feeling of peace. Replace the thought of disconnection with a feeling of love.
Step 3: The Power of Revision
What about when things go “wrong”?
What about when you have a challenging moment with your child?
This is where the powerful tool of Revision comes in.
At the end of your day, lie down in a quiet place and review the events of the day. If there was any moment that you wish had gone differently—a meltdown, a moment of frustration, a feeling of disconnection—you are going to rewrite it.
In your imagination, replay the scene as you wished it had happened.
Did you want your child to be calm and happy? Imagine them that way.
Did you want to feel a sense of connection? Imagine a hug, a shared smile, a moment of peace.
Replay the revised scene over and over in your mind until it feels real.
Feel the feelings of relief, joy, and love that come with this new memory.
By doing this, you are refusing to let the negative event take root in your consciousness.
You are cleaning the slate and planting a new seed in its place.
Your mental diet is your commitment to your new reality. It’s the daily work that makes the Mirror Principle and the Power of Assumptions a lived experience, not just an intellectual concept.
It is the most loving thing you can do for yourself and for your child.
In our next post, we’ll finally introduce the 5 Universal Love Languages—the beautiful, tangible ways your child is already reflecting your new consciousness back to you.
Ready to Take Control of Your Mind?
A mental diet is a skill that requires practice and support. In the Connecting Hearts book and course, you’ll get:
• Guided meditations to help you cultivate a positive inner state.
• Advanced techniques for dealing with stubborn negative patterns.
• A community of parents who are all practising their mental diet together, cheering each other on.
What is the most common negative thought you find yourself battling?
How can you begin to starve it and feed a new, empowering thought instead?
Share your commitment in the comments!
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